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VOLUME 33 ISSUE 4487 cOUSIN SHORTYS FREE FREE CHICKEN SHEEt
UNDERVALUED MAIL TIP SHEET RUMOR NEWSLETTER!!!! © cOUSIN
SHORTy HELos AGAin to all FIENds! cOUSIN SHORTY hear and Mycousin TLC Has something SPACial for yous today! DAY TRADER's GLOSSARY OF TERMS Advisor - anyone who charges money for stock advice to cover his losses in the market Advisory Service - an advisor who lost a very large amount of money and started a new business Afternoon - the daily opportunity to give back all the money you made that morning (see Friday) Apprentice - potentially, anyone that looks at your screen just after you get out of a winning trade Average Down - what you have to do if you were long and had to go to the bathroom Average Up - what you have to do if you were short and had to go to the bathroom Bad Trade/Stupid Trade - a losing trade that somebody else does that doesn't fit your strategy Backup Plan - see Averaging Up, Averaging Down and Break Bottom - (when you are long) the exact spot where you give up averaging down and sell (when you are short) the spot where the book says you should go short Break - what you take when you have either 2 winners or 5 losers in a row Broker - somebody that studied hard and has a fancy license to legally lose your money for a slight additional charge Bulletin Board (OTCBB) - the exercise yard at the Graybar Hotel Canadian - anyone who is short any stock you own Chair of Woe - the empty chair where the new guy sits next to the pro who trades Internet IPOs Chart - what you check after you exit the trade to try and figure out what went wrong Cheap Stock - a stock that will go down as soon as you decide not to short it Confusion - 6 open positions Coyote Syndrome - when you have to chew your own arm off so you don't click the mouse again Day Trade - a trade where you get in way too late and get out way too early Dickhead - anyone that looks at your screen while you are down on a trade Double Up - phrase you use to explain your open position after you accidentally bought more instead of sold what you owned Down On The Day - a temporary situation until right after this next trade Excellent Company - any stock you know nothing about that you make a winning trade on Excellent Long Term Investment - A Position Trade that went the wrong way right after you took the position Expensive Stock - a stock that will go up as soon as you decide not to go long Expert - new guy who hasn't started trading yet (see Licensed Expert) Fossil - a really old dude that makes less than 90 trades a day Freak - anyone who can do three winning trades in a row (see Jerkoff) Friday - The weekly opportunity to give back everything you made that week (see Afternoon) Fundamental Analysis - the process of checking to see if you can short a stock Gap Up - a stock that opens higher than it closed the day before, and will go down if you buy it, but will continue to go up if you short it Genius - what an Apprentice thinks you are if you luck out 3 times in a row Halt (stock) - (open position) impending really good news or really bad news, but in either case, the scariest thing ever invented Highlight - selling into the rally while the guy on TV explains the complex reasons why the stock is special Home Run - every single trade you consider, tell somebody else about and then don't do yourself Huge Player - 1. any guy with more than fifteen grand left 2. any trader that's been there for more than three months Idiot - the fool that gives you his stock to cover your winning short position INCA - (if long) some creep that puts up a 50,000 share offer right when you go long (if short) the same guy going long Interest Rates - the excuse the market makers offer to cover up their manipulation of the stock market IPO - expensive cyanide IPO (Internet) - Expensive Cyanide Flambé with Extra Sugar IPO (NYSE) - loser Jackass - anyone who looks at your trade blotter and laughs out loud Jerkoff - anybody that ends the day with a profit Joker - a Pro who takes a break and walks around laughing to himself (see Pro, Break) Level 2 - the level in Hell where the Devil explains an extremely complex way to lose a very large amount of money in a very short period of time Licensed Expert - a guy with a Series 7 license that hasn't started trading yet Loudmouth - 1. Anyone that says anything anywhere near you while you are in the middle of a losing trade 2. The new guy that can't seem to pull the trigger and then yells out, "It's running!" Lucky Trade - a winning trade that somebody else made that doesn't exactly fit your strategy Lunch Money - what you throw away between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. Eastern time Manager - the only day trader who figured out a Never Lose Trading System Margin - (if you are up) a no risk situation with huge potential return (if you are down) an evil invention by Unseen Forces that tricks you into losing more money than you have Margin Call - what happens every time your clearing firm makes any sort of accounting mistake Market Maker - the guy that has the secret video camera set up behind you and takes the other side of every one of your losing trades Moron - the bonehead that buys your winning long position Moving Average - a wavy line that has nothing to do with price movement if you have an open position Pain - exiting at a loss, reversing your position on the stock and then watching it go the way you knew it would in the first place Paper Trade - any trade you tell your Apprentice about to explain your system Partial Fill - a test the Market Makers provide to see if you can quickly do simple math while under extreme stress Piece of Crap - any Excellent Company that you have a losing trade on Position Trade - a Day Trade that went the wrong way right after you took the position Pro - any guy at the trading center who never says anything and is usually smiling (see Joker) Scalping - losing only an eighth at a time Secret Trade - any trade that you don't mention to the Apprentice when he asks you how you are doing Severe Pain - being down 3/8 on 1000 shares where the volume dried up and then noticing you missed 4 points on that other trade you were going to do instead (see Pain) Short List - daily list of stocks that will go up and never pull back Short List Request - request submitted to the clearing firm which contains a list of all stocks that you could short yesterday and can short tomorrow, but not today Short Squeeze - (when you are short) when someone you never met and shouldn't really have anything against you tries on purpose to hurt you and your family personally (when you are long) proof you are a genius Special Situation - when you watch your losing stop limit go by and take a larger position instead of exiting the trade (see Long Term Investment) Spread (if a winning trade) sharing the wealth (if a losing trade) an evil market maker ripping you off System Trade - the phrase you use to explain to the Apprentice how your trade didn't work out the way you planned it Technical Analysis - (traditional) voodoo without the animal blood and chanting (Point and Figure) really weird voodoo without the animal blood and chanting Top - (when long) the point on the chart where the stock backs off real fast before you get out (when short) the exact spot where you cover Trainer - the only guy in the room who has never day traded in his entire life Trend Line - the imaginary line on a price chart that only changes when the market is closed or when you are not looking Up On The Day - what you are when the market closes, not counting ticket charges Uptick - (if long) added hope (if short) the Market Maker letting everyone else in (if no position) another good chance to lose some money by going short Visitor - (if wearing casual clothes) - new money (if wearing suit) - trouble Volume Spike - (open position) confirmation that you are either the smartest person on the planet or the biggest idiot (no position) confirmation that you are the smartest person on the planet but you were not paying attention ******************************* AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See ou Next time! Yo FRIed, cOUSIN SHORTY |
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